Family XIII
by DizzyAngel34
Summary: What happens when Zexion sleeps in? What's been bothering Roxas lately? This is a parody of Organization XIII! Please enjoy the opening chapter.
1. Chapter 1 Prologue

The purple haired teenager sighed and rubbed his eyes with his left forearm adjusting to the faint sunlight shining through his dark drapes. He looked about the shadows of his room and muffled a yawn. He looked over at his alarm clock and lifted it to his face for a better look. It was 7:45 on a Sunday morning. The teenager put the alarm back down onto the table and rolled on his side jabbing his stomach with the corner of a book he was reading the night before. He felt about for the book and threw it carelessly over his head not caring where it landed. Yawning loudly, he rolled onto his stomach and fussed about to find the pillow he was resting his head against. He sighed and shut his eyes slowly dozing off. His room door creaked and XIII poked his head into the darkened room before walking in cautiously trying not to slip on any books that were left carelessly on the floor.

"VI, VIII told me to tell you that Superior's calling another meeting, only that this one is more important than the others…" XIII announced tugging at the teen's sheets.

VI covered his head with the pillow, groaning.

XIII frowned and searched for the other teenager's leg. Once he located it XIII grabbed the teen by the ankle and began to pull him out of his bed.

"Damn it, VI you never used to be this lazy!" XIII frowned.

VI growled madly and held onto the edge of the mattress to avoid being pulled out of the bed that was keeping his body warm.

"VI, VIII told me to tell you that Superior's calling another me-"

"I heard you the first time XIII!" VI shouted pulling his head out from under his pillow.

"Alright, just checking that you were awake so I wasn't standing here talking to myself" XIII replied in defence.

VI groaned and sat up to glare at XIII. VI sat studying the young blonde closely. XIII seemed worried about something.

"What's the matter with you?" VI asked stretching.

"W-well, X told me that the Superior is planning to 'get rid' of a member… I just hope it isn't gonna be me!" XIII answered looking even more worried.

"… … Is this what the meeting's about?" VI asked scratching the back of his head.

"I think so, VIII never said" XIII answered looking at VI.

It was XIII's turn to study. He stared at the lanky teenager sitting in his bed wearing a simple shirt and shorts to bed. His purple hair was tussled about from restless sleep but still covering his right eye, making him seem mysterious. XIII twisted his mouth and went towards the door with VI's deep blue eyes following him.

"Just hurry up and get changed and get your ass along to the meeting – you know what the Superior's like when someone's late!" XIII commented opening the door.

When the door shut over, VI cocked his head thoughtfully. XIII could just walk into a dark portal to leave like the rest did but instead he used the door. VI sighed and pulled the covers back with the cold air stinging the exposed flesh of his legs. He shuddered and cussed. Searching through his drawers, VI located his pants and cloak. He pulled off his shorts and quickly replacing them with his pants and spent two minutes trying to button the front of his pants in the darker corner of his room. He pulled the cloak over his body and zipped it up to his chest. He sighed and left his hair the way it was. Opening a portal, he looked around his room. He picked up a random book from a pile and stepped in the portal leaving the sanctuary of his room and reappearing in a pure white chamber. VI noticed that a few other members of the organization had arrived before him. VI sat on his chair and opened his book to a random page waiting for the meeting to begin.


	2. Chapter 2 The Meeting

The minutes passed as the remaining nobodies began to appear in their seats. One particular nobody with a blonde mullet arrived listening to a personal CD player that he had managed to attach to the right side of his cloak. VI looked at IX sitting tapping his foot to the upbeat music blasting from his earphones with a smile plastered on his face. VI rolled his eyes and flicked the page. VIII soon appeared and stood looking about at the other nobodies before sitting down. IX signalled to VIII with his hands to grab his attention.

"Hey, VIII! Is the superior really getting rid of someone?" IX shouted over moving one of his earphones off of his ears to hear a reply.

"Nah, it's just a rumour so far – But I have a good feeling that's what this is about!" VIII answered smirking.

"Who do you think it would be if he had to get rid of someone?" IX yelled.

VIII looked about the faces of the other nobodies noting XIII's anxious expression "I dunno it depends on who's not picking up the pace on their work."

IX's eyes grew large at VIII's response "Dude, that's basically me! I haven't done any paper work since last month! And the shopping list is still sitting on my bed!"

"That means it'll probably be me too then – I haven't completed any chores since that last incident with the blender…" VIII pushed his spiky red hair backwards.

"That means everyone that lagged behind and goofed off are gonna be taken care of!" IX cried switching his music off in panic.

XIII looked about uneasily as the two members spoke. He shuffled in his seat uncomfortably pulling at his cloak knowing he had forgotten a few of his own tasks. VI looked at him from the corner of his eye and shook his head continuing with his reading escapade. VII soon appeared followed by Xemnas. The two nodded at each other and sat down. Xemnas held his hand up and the nobodies fell silent. Xemnas looked down to see if anyone was missing. Much to his surprise everyone, including the few who were usually goofing off were there and accounted for.

"I have called this meeting to announce a new turn for this organization." Xemnas started off "Now we have all agreed that the obsession with Kingdom Hearts was an unhealthy one due to so many failures. So I have decided that we will no longer take action towards any name, shape or form of moon and head in a new, healthier direction."

The nobodies muttered and discussed quietly. VII looked up at Xemnas with worried eyes unsure if he really knew what he was doing. Xemnas had decided this himself and was probably not aware that he was putting every member of the organization's sanity on the line. VII shrugged it off quietly shaking his blue hair about allowing it to settle back on his shoulders. If this was what the superior wanted he'd just have to go along with it and hope for the best. VIII wiped his nose with his right thumb and looked over at IX who pulled a face in his direction. VIII contorted his face into a frown at IX's childlike behavior. XIII's stomach tied up in knots thinking about what X had said to him earlier.

"I have decided" Xemnas waited for the discussion to die down "I have decided that our organization, organization XIII will now become family XIII."

"Superior, you can't be serious!" IV shouted from somewhere below Xemnas.

Xemnas looked down to find the elder nobody "I made up my mind, IV. As difficult as it may be to believe, it's a newer, healthier direction for our organization to go in. I don't know about many of you – But I'd welcome this decision if any of you were superior."

All the other nobodies doubted they'd choose the decision of making the organization turn into a family. None of them were even a step close to becoming superior in the first place. They knew that II was the second member of the organization so he had the best chance to become superior. But he was far too laid back to even think about becoming superior if anything happened to Xemnas.

"But doesn't a family need, I dunno… role models, parents and_ trust_ to function properly?" VIII piped up from nowhere.

"Yes they do, that's why I am deciding to give out the important roles of the family to each member listed within the organization. Now I shall be the father figure as I am after all the Superior one" Xemnas continued "Now the mother figure of the family will be…"

The nobodies murmured amongst themselves;

"It's XII… Definitely XII…"

"She's the only female in the organization…"

"So you guys think it's gonna be XII?"

"Heck yeah - is there any doubt?"

VII looked around the room at the other nobodies discussing the matter of the mother figure with a serious expression. Taking a glance to his upper right VII caught a glimpse of Xemnas smiling. VII turned his attention back to the nobodies leaning back in his chair trying to understand why Xemnas wanted the organization to become a family. The harder VII thought the more ridiculous the outcomes seemed to him. IX had switched his music back on and was too busy to notice the conversation. VII was busy reading to try and drown out the ridiculous idea of becoming a family.

"I have decided the mother figure will be VII" Xemnas announced.

The murmurs of the other members died away and were replaced with shocked looks and IX's music echoed through the chamber. In unison the shocked nobodies looked at IX making the uncomfortable nobody turn his music down low with an embarrassed grin. Next, the nobodies looked up at VII who had quickly sprung into a sitting position with his gold eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. He looked up at Xemnas ready to protest. Xemnas looked down at VII with a smile. VII smiled back slightly worried as the protest was knocked out of him. Seeing the superior expressing some emotion – even though none of them had hearts – was a rare sight to see for any nobody in the organization.

"Suck up" XII hissed at VII under her breathe.

VII caught the insult from XII and turned to look at her. VII glared down at XII and mouthed an insult back at her. XII's face went crimson with rage ready to spit another insult at the blue haired berserker.

"Now, the rest of the family is as follows; II, III, V, X and XI you are now the uncles – sort yourself into oldest to youngest. XII you are now the aunt and you are married to XI. IV you are the grandfather and the loving, responcible parent of VII. And all those who were not mentioned – VI, VIII, IX and XIII – you four are now my children. VIII being the oldest and XIII being the youngest" Xemnas concluded.

A shocked silence hung in the chamber as the nobodies looked at each other wide eyed. VI shrank back in his chair and groaned in between the pages of his book.

XII glared at VII as though the family idea was fixed for him to be the mother. VII returned the glare then respectively looked up at Xemnas still worried about the whole mother role.

"Oh yes, that reminds me. We'll no longer be able to call each other by our numbers since we are no longer an organization. Our given names such as flurry of dancing flames and Silent Hero are no longer of use. For the four chosen to be the kids – I am now known as father and VII is now addressed as mother. For the rest of you I am simply Xemnas. Is there any question anyone would like to bring up now before we decide to move on?" Xemnas asked looking at the other nobodies.

All the nobodies looked at each other trying to think of a question. VI retreated back to his book trying to stay out of the conversation. IX lifted his hand slowly after a few exchanged glances with VIII and XIII.

"Yes, what is it ..." Xemnas thought about IX's name for a second knowing he had never used it in the past.

There was a pause.

"Ah, what is it, Demyx?" Xemnas asked looking down at the blonde musician.

Demyx twiddled his thumbs and looked at his feet in embarrassment. Xemnas lifted his right eyebrow waiting for a reply. Demyx looked at Axel who gestured at him to ask. Demyx breathed in and looked up at Xemnas.

"W-will we kids have to be born again?" Demyx asked openly.

Saïx's eyes widened and his bottom lip started to tremble. He looked up at Xemnas with anxious gold eyes hoping for some painless sympathy. Noticing that Xemnas wasn't acknowledging him at that precise moment, Saïx began to shake his head in horror then silently pray for some sort of mercy.

"No, you won't have to be born again, Demyx" Xemnas answered after thinking "I think you being born once is quite enough."

"Oh, okay" Demyx laughed slightly scratching his head not knowing if that was a friendly comment or an upsetting insult.

Saïx let out a sigh of relief holding his right hand to his chest sliding back in his chair. Zexion rammed his face further into his book muttering cusses under his breath. Xaldin and Xigbar exchanged worried looks.

"You say it…"

"Heck no! You say it!"

"You're a higher rank than me – you say it!"

"Is there something wrong… …Xaldin?" Xemnas asked looking down at the dreadlocked nobody after remembering his name.

"Well... ... yes, yes there is. What happens to paper work and the usual rounds?" Xaldin asked.

"Hmm..." Xemnas rubbed his chin with his right index finger thoughtfully.

Axel and Demyx looked at each other.

"I have decided that each member will have their paper work finished for tomorrow and as for the rounds, the rounds will stay in tact for the four chosen to be kids. The rest of you I guess you'll just have to look after yourselves." Xemnas answered after two minutes of rock solid thinking.

Groans from Roxas, Axel and Demyx echoed through the chamber as Zexion groaned quietly into his book. The older nobodies breathed out in relief as the four chosen nobodies muttered under their breaths. Demyx and Roxas turned to look at Axel with begging eyes pleading with him to reconsider with their superior.

"Superior you can't be serious!" Axel whined "We need to be free just like the rest of you are – we can't keep being checked on like were children."

"That's the point… …Axel. Everyone is hereby dismissed to finish up on paper work then tomorrow we are starting as a family." Xemnas grinned.

"Yes sir!" The other nobodies replied disappearing to find loose files and unfinished paperwork.

Axel muttered and disappeared alongside Roxas and Demyx. Zexion held back for a few moments collecting his thoughts before disappearing back to his room. Saïx knew all of his paperwork was done but his mind was straying far away from uncompleted paper work. Knowing he had less than a day left as a normal nobody left him feeling bewildered and slightly anxious – something he had hardly felt before.

Before going back to his room Saïx nodded at Xemnas.

Xemnas smiled to himself before opening a portal to the main tower.

This was only the beginning.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3 Paperwork

Zexion sat in the study fussing over the report in front of him. Gritting his teeth in frustration, Zexion crumpled the piece of paper and threw it over his shoulder with an agitated sigh. Rubbing his forehead, Zexion leaned back in his chair until it was on two legs. Looking at the ceiling with the fountain pen between his teeth Zexion sighed. He looked down at the report with a few words that didn't even complete a full sentence. Taking the pen out of his mouth and dropping it onto the table with a clatter, Zexion screwed his eyes shut trying to think of something.

"Man..." Zexion growled "Writing about the matter was harder than being involved in it..."

Zexion looked down at the report again fighting the urge to kick it off of the desk and leaving the study. He growled and ranted at the paper cussing at it in irritation. Zexion leaned back to far that the chair's legs slipped from underneath him. Acting in more shock than fear Zexion only reacted with a confused grunt waiting for his back to connect with the floor. Something jolted the chair and held Zexion a few centimetres from the wooden floorboards. Looking up Zexion recognised the nobody automatically.

"Thanks Lexeaus" Zexion sighed with appreciation.

Lexeaus nodded with a grunt, returning the seat and Zexion back to their original position. Zexion rubbed his face and picked up his pen again. The tip of the fountain pen hovered above the page as Zexion struggled to decide on what to write. Scratching his left eyebrow in frustration, Zexion looked over his shoulder to watch Lexeaus. The broad shouldered nobody had wheeled a cart of books into the study and began carefully placing them on the shelves in order. Zexion took this as though Lexeaus was annoyed with the dusty books being laid about carelessly. Zexion was thankful Lexeaus never visited his room or the silent nobody would have exploded as soon as he set foot into the mess. The shuffling paper of the books distracted Zexion from writing anything down on the report sitting in front of him. He turned to where Lexeaus was putting books into place.

"... ... So Lexeaus… What do you make of all this talk about becoming a family? You never said anything at the meeting... Well, neither did Marluxia or Luxord... But - you know what I mean..." Zexion asked seeking comfort from the older nobody busy dusting off the shelves.

Lexeaus shuffled about lifting books and putting them into tidy rows ignoring Zexion. Knowing that Lexeaus wasn't much of a talker, Zexion sat watching the bulky nobody rummage around the books while trying to keep them in order. Zexion sighed and looked at his report feeling like it was crying out for his attention. He sighed and went back to watching Lexeaus, shuffle around the cart. Lexeaus lifted a pile of books losing a few off the top of the pile and tried to bend down to retrieve them with the tower of books in his hands.

"Needing an extra hand?" Zexion asked noticing Lexeaus might need help.

"You have a report to do" Lexeaus answered shortly.

Zexion frowned lazily and looked at the papers on the desk. He brushed two pages off and turned to the busy nobody who had managed to lift the other books off the floor and proceeded to put them onto the shelves.

"I have writer's block..." Zexion sighed looking at the remaining papers.

"No you don't. Someone of your expertise rarely gets writer's block. You just can't be bothered" Lexeaus answered before lifting more books onto the dusty shelves "So please lift the papers you brushed off the desk and continue with your report. I will try and not disturb you..."

"Couldn't the report wait for a little longer?" Zexion thought resting his right cheek on his fist.

Zexion sighed; there was no way he'd be able to strike up a conversation now that Lexeaus had told him off. He reached down to the side of the desk and lifted the paper back onto the desk thumping his hand against the oak to show his frustration. Lexeaus ignored the noise and continued with stacking the shelf. Zexion took the fountain pen into his hand and moved it over the page drawing random squiggles. Lexeaus looked over Zexion's shoulder and grunted in disapproval. Zexion grumbled and crumpled the paper up. Lexeaus took the ball of paper out of the young nobody's hands and dropped it into a bucket along with the others Zexion had carelessly thrown about. Zexion looked at the tip of the fountain pen and put it onto the paper watching the ink spread. Lexeaus lifted the dotted paper off of the desk and dropped it into the bin.

"Hey - I was about to write on that one - I swear!" Zexion protested.

Lexeaus shook his head knowingly "You were just watching the ink spread..."

"I can't help it Lexeaus..." Zexion groaned "Don't you think everything will change tomorrow?"

"Heck yeah, you think Xemnas'll keep things the way they are? We are gonna be a family tomorrow - not an organization" Another voice answered for Lexeaus.

The two nobodies turned to face the doorway. Axel stood smirking, with his arms crossed. Zexion turned his body to the side of his chair to take a better look at the cocky nobody. Axel looked at the other nobodies noting each expression and their current positions. Judging by the reaction to Axel's sudden entry, Zexion wasn't too busy on his report. Axel took more interest in the cart of books beside Lexeaus' side. He grinned knowingly.

"Well, well what's this? Lexeaus forgot to do an assignment?" Axel mocked still grinning.

Lexeaus went red with embarrassment and dropped his face to the floor to avoid anyone noticing his horrified expression. Axel walked forward into the study and patted the bigger nobody on the shoulder with his right hand.

"Hey don't worry big guy, I won't tell Xemnas that you were also slacking off" Axel answered Lexeaus' expression.

Lexeaus didn't respond to Axel's comment. Instead he shuffled out of Axel's pat and began to put the books back onto the shelf. Axel shook his head and turned his attention to the purple haired nobody in front of him.

"The adventure of book stacking awaits nobody" Axel added intending humour.

Zexion frowned at the flame wielder "What are you doing here? You never come into the study."

Axel crossed his arms behind his head with a smile "Well I just came in here to visit my best little buddy in the whole wide world Zexion and ask him to do a little something for me. You see I'm kinda-"

"The answer is no..." Zexion answered before Axel could finish his sentence.

"What? Oh come on, Zexy. Can't you help a nobody in need?" Axel asked pouting.

"I'm not covering for you a second time" Zexion answered swinging his body round to face the desk "And don't call me 'Zexy' my name is Zexion."

"Well, I'll just have to report to Xemnas that someone hasn't been tending to the dishes, trash and sweeping lately" Axel answered with a yawn.

Zexion noticed the strange tone in Axel's voice. Almost if he was hinting at something. Zexion's mind clicked causing his eyes to widen and his face to flush with embarrassment. The unattended jobs that were listed were his chores.

"You wouldn't!" Zexion muttered in a murderous tone slowly turning to face Axel.

"Wanna try me?" Axel smirked crossing his arms again.

"But that's blackmail!" Zexion accused pointing at Axel.

"Well it wouldn't BE blackmail if you co-operated with me. We finish our reports and your jobs will go unnoticed by the superior, got it?" Axel asked dominating the argument.

"What do you mean 'we'?" Zexion asked raising an eyebrow.

Axel doubled back remembering "Ah yeah... Me, Demyx 'n' Roxas are kinda in a jam.... And with you being the bookworm of the organization we thought we could get a little help from you. You know to get us a little further in our reports..."

"Okay how far are you guys?" Zexion asked turning in his seat again studying the nobody's body language.

"Erm..." Axel stopped in mid thought.

"Well, how many reports have you guys written?" Zexion asked raising an eyebrow at the flame wielder.

Axel looked at the floor thinking of a convincing lie trying to avoid the cold eyes of the young schemer.

"You mean to say that for the past month you guys haven't even touched a report let alone wrote anything down?" Zexion asked gob smacked.

Axel looked at Zexion with shock flashing in his green eyes "I never said that!"

"No but you were thinking on how to cover it over" Zexion smirked after reading Axel's mind.

"Alright, alright that's true..." Axel admitted "And you know us three, we can't exactly concentrate enough before our minds wander to music, games, comics, sleeping in late, clubbing, food or ice cream - That's why were asking - no BEGGING for a tiny bit of help. We don't want Saïx to come knocking on our doors only to receive blank paper - You remember what happened to us last time!"

"That I do" Zexion's smirk was still in play making Axel's eyes to look around the study slightly paranoid.

Zexion never smiled unless he was up to something. Zexion studied the skinny nobody with cold eyes. The guy looked like he needed help. Axel's eyes strayed from Zexion's face to read various titles of books on the shelves. Lexeaus, knowing he was forgotten about grunted noticing the last sixteen books were in the wrong numeral order. He pulled them out and restarted the row. Axel's eyes settled back on Zexion who shut his eyes and sighed in defeat.

"Alright I'll help you guys out - But" Zexion's eyes cracked open revealing a dangerous glare "You guys are gonna help me with my chores."

"What Zexion, we have our own chores to worry about - never mind yours!" Axel answered defensively.

"Well if you guys aren't gonna help me - I won't help you. After all I finished most of my reports last month only messing up on this one that I'm abut to start. Pretty soon my chores will be finished too and you guys will just have to tell Saïx what you guys were doing instead of your reports" Zexion yawned turning to face the report on the desk.

Axel stared at Zexion and let out a long groan "Fine you win, we'll help you with your chores..."

Zexion looked over at Axel and smiled in victory "Good. Now where do you think you guys will be able to write your reports without distractions?"

Axel thought about most of the rooms in the castle carefully choosing between them "Here I guess..."

"Okay find Demyx and Roxas then get back here and sit at the table over there" Zexion pointed at a table in the far corner "I'll be waiting over there for you guys to show up. And remember - it's you guys that chose the help you're about to receive..."

"Oh thanks Zexion, you don't know how much this means to us! I'll go collect the other guys right now!" Axel answered disappearing.

Zexion looked at Lexeaus who shook his head wheeling the empty cart out the door. Zexion shook his head after Lexeaus left and let out a groan knowing he had probably just made a big mistake.

**TBC**


End file.
